Mori Thomson
If I Were
If I were to suspend my sympathies and forget humanity, what would I feel?
If I were to submerge myself in selfish thought and leave all this cruelty to the concern of others, what would I feel?
If I were to live this life as life is now, what would I feel?
I would feel the clouds of stress regress.
And I’d feel the weight of each dawn’s struggles lift as the lashing challenges of their days evaporate.
I would feel the fear of the unknown dissipate,
And the superficial worries becoming as superfluous as a mask on a mannequin.
I would feel angry journeys people melting away unthreateningly, clapping respectfully at their doors.
I would rediscover idleness and sink into the softness, slipping away silently into her arms.
And I would feel content in that comfort, not fighting for money for power for praise.
I would feel a peace condensed,
And a tapestry of helping hands blossoming, reaching over and round and through, supporting, but with space.
And I would feel closer to these closest people, like great pine trees standing together in the darkness of the forest.
I would feel and see and know the tangible edges of this forest and I would feel bigger in it.
And with each certain step I’d feel I was I.
That is how I would feel, but that could not be and should not be me—
I need you and we and they and us, I need he that I do not know.
Not the safety that comes with knowing tomorrow, but the fight,
The undiscovered light and all life’s frightening lies.
—Submitted 05/07/2020
Mori Thomson lives in London and works in the advertising industry, where she is a writer, producer, and director.
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