Ramon Loyola
Prepping
tongue licks itself softly
on contours of arm neck
elbow hands fingers leaving
perfumed trail of petrichor
it’s only skin to sample
but he wants to taste
flesh with moist flesh
I’m PrEP-ing he murmurs
lips parted saliva streaking
with lust and urgency
I moan capitulation
groan desire to rival fantasy
but I waver in the dark
yet pull him closer
the subtlety of doubt
infuses my flushed face
I feel brush of moustache
on plump quivering muscle
wet muscle on dry muscle
ecstasy flows immediate
until apprehension subsides
until feather becomes sword
digging through narrow flesh
I’m not on PrEP I tell myself
I reach down as if to speculate
fingers make out real skin in
envelope of synthetic skin
I don’t feel the pain anymore
he knows how to prep me
to stoke uninhibited fire within
without bitter medicine
with certainty of hard love
it’s only flesh to taste
but he wants to keep
skin with safe skin
Editor’s Note: PrEP stands for pre-exposure prophylaxis, a regimen of two HIV-inhibiting drugs in one pill taken once daily by HIV-uninfected people to prevent HIV infection. “Prepping” can also refer to the process of cleaning the rectum to prepare for receptive anal intercourse, also referred to as “anal douching.”
Ramon Loyola is the author of The Measure of Skin (Vagabond Press, 2018). An Australian-based, Philippines-born writer of poems, fiction and non-fiction, his work has appeared in Cordite Poetry Review, Rambutan Literary, and Gargouille, among other journals.
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Here is today’s prompt
(optional as always)
Write a poem that dramatizes the moment of HIV risk activity, as today’s poem does with its portrayal of a sexual encounter without condoms. Remember that HIV can be spread not only through unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, but also through sharing needles to inject drugs; from HIV-infected mothers to fetuses or newborns during labor, delivery, and through breast milk; and during occupational exposures such as needle sticks from HIV-infected patients to healthcare workers.