Juan Antonio Trujillo
Aubade 382
This morning
like the last five Tuesdays
we will stumble to the kitchen;
you will fish around in the
improperly-stocked fridge,
avoiding the desiccated persimmon
and two expired bougie sausages
that may well
predate our relationship,
and like always,
you will end up with an
armful of bantam eggs
from the backyard coop,
a stack of low-carb tortillas,
a bit of cheese if we’re lucky.
Three feet away
the espresso machine
will roar to life;
—no thanks, I only like light roast,
you’ll say as drips and spurts
of foam and black coffee fill
my waiting mug,
and during an almost
imperceptible pause
in this new breakfast routine
I will think about
drips
and spurts
and things getting filled.
You will start cracking tiny eggs,
maybe six or seven;
I will move next to you,
arms almost touching,
sweeten my coffee,
and like 381 mornings before
I will reach for a bottle
and shake a single blue pill
into my hand,
my palm briefly weighed down
with decades of
incalculable fear before I swallow;
a pharmaceutical permit to love
I finally just cashed in
with you.
You will heat tortillas
on the open gas flame
while I smile and remember
that radiant grin
bursting through your
impossibly thick beard,
eyes twinkling in the dimly-lit bedroom;
—I got my test results back, you said,
pausing for me to catch on;
—it was all negative, you said,
waiting for the spark of
long-forbidden hunger
to travel my spine
before resting your hand
on my naked body
and sliding into position;
with one breath
you are inside me raw—
I have never
felt more open.
Juan Antonio Trujillo is a Pacific Northwest native who returned to the region after completing advanced degrees at Brigham Young University and The University of Texas at Austin. His work centers on the intersections of sexual identity, Latinidad, and religion which he has examined from both academic and artistic perspectives. He is a regular reader with Los Porteños, Portland’s Latino writers collective, and he has presented his scholarly work on queer Latinx topics at international conferences. His short nonfiction films have appeared in festivals in Oregon and overseas.
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Here is today’s prompt
(optional as always)
Write a poem about the impact HIV/AIDS had on you when you were growing up. This can be from the perspective of an older person who came of age during the early years of AIDS, or from that of a younger person who grew up with AIDS in the news.