Ed Madden
First
My first was not my first that is
my first boyfriend but not my first
sex but he was the first I knew
who was sure and also he was
careful and open and able to talk
about it which wasn’t true of men
or at least some of the men
I had sex with those years of being
in the closet our tongues our lips
locked by silence and shame our names
not important nor our lives.
He was willing to tell his story
but maybe the others were too
it was just me unable to talk
or to listen as if my silence
might protect me—I was fettered
by fear. He gave me my first
pride rings that chain that marked
the olympics of coming out maybe
even though I really hadn’t
at least to folks at home where
the first local man who I knew
was gay came home to die, and my best
friend from seminary died a few
years ago and I didn’t know
didn’t even know until after
too late to reconnect to tell
our stories over again as if
for the first time.
Ed Madden is the author of four books of poetry, most recently Ark (Sibling Rivalry Press, 2016), a memoir in verse about caring for his father in his last months of living with cancer; and the chapbook, So they can sing, winner of the 2016 Robin Becker Poetry Prize from Seven Kitchens Press. Madden is the director of Women’s and Gender Studies at the University of South Carolina in Columbia, SC.
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Here is today’s prompt
(optional as always)
Today’s poem is called “First” and is about the speakers first boyfriend. Write a poem based on a cardinal number (one, two, three, etc.) or an ordinal number (first, second, third, etc.). The possibilities are endless: first date, second chance, third base, “I’d had one too many,” “we walked two-by-two,” “she asked three times before I said yes,” etc. Notice that today’s poem uses the word “first” several times throughout the poem, including as the very last word. Try to use your number as many times as possible throughout your poem.