Mudhillun MuQaribu
Fatalists
It was the Seventies…My family was Islamic…We were many…We were fatalists…We were poor…We were black…We were fatalists…
It was the Eighties…AIDS hit…Crack hit too…We were fatalists…I had brothers who were street pharmacists…I had sisters who were sex workers…We were fatalists…Business wasn’t always booming…There was damage to our collateral……We were fatalists…
It was the Nineties…Dad needed a kidney…I wasn’t tested…We were fatalists…I got into Dad’s alma mater for undergrad…I started doing medical research Guinea pigging for access to care and extra cash…We were fatalists…Dad died…I came out…We were fatalists…
It was the Aughts…Mom’s sis needed a kidney…I wasn’t a match…We were fatalists…My aunt died…I took a philosophy class…We were fatalists…I graduated from college…I got my first job…We were fatalists…I couldn’t cope…I had a breakdown…We were fatalists…I moved…I discovered recreational sex…We were fatalists… I got hit by a car… I started grad school…We were fatalists… I couldn’t cope…I stumbled in school…We were fatalists…I was poor…Sex became a compulsion…We were fatalists…I stumbled upon bareback sex…School loans were due…We were fatalists…
It was the Teens…I couldn’t cope…HIV became a preoccupation…I was a fatalist…Someone posted a kidney donation want-ad on Craig’s List for their dad…I wasn’t a match…I was a fatalist…I was put on a potential donor list…I discovered the bugchasing phenomenon…I was a fatalist…The Swiss statement came out…I was a match…I was a fatalist…I gave a kidney…I discovered PrEP…I was a fatalist…
It’s the cusp of the Twenties…I’m alive…I don’t know what the future holds…I was a fatalist.
Mudhillun MuQaribu‘s work has appeared in the Journal of Adolescent & Adult Literacy as well as the anthology TRANS HOMO…Gasp!: FTM and Cis men on Sex and Love (Transgress Press, 2017 ), edited by Avi Ben-Zeev and Pete Bailey. MuQaribu keeps a blog about PrEP and is working on several writing projects including two novels. He works as an educator near Philadelphia.
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Here is today’s prompt
(optional as always)
Write a poem that uses a refrain. A refrain is a phrase or line repeated at intervals within a poem, often but not exclusively at the end of a stanza. Today’s poem uses the refrain “We were fatalists.” Another HIV Here & Now poem that uses a refrain (two refrains, actually) is Eduardo Moreno’s “My First Ball.” The Poetry Foundation provides a long list of poems that use refrains here.