Yrik-Max Valentonis
Plague and Prejudice
Your liberal reply disturbed me.
I wish I could talk to you right now.
beating a gay man
fighting to lift military ban
taboos
I miss going out with you
gay community marched
my fellow AIDS sufferers
winning social tolerance
ban on homosexuals in the military
to greasy all-night diners
it toughened me up
a coalition put together to raise support
You’ll be here soon enough
every human being
where we would sit and talk
as the odd woman
called the incident deplorable
but never really fitting in
empowerment
until sunrise.
discriminates and is based in prejudice
I loved the way you
Gay and Lesbian students
predefined gender roles
I wish it wasn’t true
would fly with your fingers
militant views
always been instances of bigotry
if you believe in something
to make a point.
committed
experience the nightmares
sexually open
allowing my vulnerability
I would catch myself
showed no remorse
blatant and obvious
That was too kinky for me, and I got a divorce.
staring at your hands
every cold was the one that would do me in
One gay veteran
try to cover it up
while you sculpted a story
I wanted to hold him
called the attack unfortunate
in the air for me.
Apologize
the denial of our legal rights
I told you, you should write a book
after realizing he was gay
live to see a treatment breakthrough
an isolated incident
on philosophy or something.
homophobia
would be better to be honest and
Your words enraptured me
embraces, tears, whispers
open about it
Don’t give up
the right to voice their sexuality
prevent more gay bashing
it would be good for others
I didn’t want to hide
is to be alone
to hear your strength and courage.
people like this who are
supposed to be protecting me
by camping up every now and then
to be with someone with HIV
As you told me
I feel that I’m not safe
sodomy and sexual misconduct laws
how the doctor treated you.
find kinship
very intoxicated
I really had no choice
We talked about support groups
raises awareness about homosexuals
of anger and courage and politics
that deep nausea
I collapsed
and how every little action helps.
She was sure I was a homosexual, possibly a child molester,
come to terms with AIDS
and worried that I would end up in prison.
latex gloves to shake your hand
it’s important to show
the lid off the coffin
writhed on the floor in a seizure
a very individual thing
mourners
That night you pulled
trying to force
a conservative group
an outsider in my own world
diagnosis: full-blown AIDS
away from me when I tried
end the stereotypes, cruel jokes
surrender totally to the disease
would feel proud
lived these two years is a miracle
feeling hypocritical
against all the odds
to kiss you goodnight.
a positive thing
launched a state constitutional amendment
preaching to the converted
they were hated
backwards and bigoted state law
become more spiritual
unburdened herself
I was scared.
Please! he cried.
infected with HIV
You were scared.
gay rights ordinances
except, recommend doctors
How noble of me
I kissed you.
When my mother discovered my cross-dressing…
first sign of trouble
law in the future
I am alive.
Afterward we just looked at each other
AIDS kamikazes
ambivalent
waiting in the wings
civil rights
gay-bashing
live with guilt and shame
I didn’t want to lose you
I guess I was ready
extraordinary rage
called for an end to discrimination in jobs,
to some damn disease
before they die
it will always be a broken heart
about the whole androgyny
a current of paranoia
push for a repeal
—You held me
camaraderie
and overturn the law
housing and child custody
having sex
as I cried.
AIDS benefit
in the closet
career
for a dear friend who was still alive
Already missing you.
AIDS can carry on for a while
on the side
I thought I could somehow conquer
the final group you can attack without a problem
I caught myself staring at your fingers
being attracted to the strength in subtleties
went public
so many of my friends have died
battle over gay rights could hurt the states
is grief
wondering when I would
Did I think it was weird?
trigger a boycott
they want to share their lives with someone
of the same sex
see them again.
source of rage
Guiltily, wanting them
I love my gay son
whose torch-like emotionalism
to tell me more stories.
catastrophic
death tolls
I was never gonna change it
to have them hold me.
undefinable
would have added protection
liberation of the oppressed
I’m sorry for my weakness
most people don’t understand
I now help him coordinate his outfits
around your strength,
society’s consciousness
and enjoy putting on his makeup and combing his wig.
endowing gay society with a soul
I hope it would not
is sanctioned as any other
I just wish…
it was basically a love story
a show of strength
fight like hell
reflections about gay life
was seen less as quirky
opponents
displays the paradoxical qualities
I’m sorry.
based on personal appearance
only a charade
I knew that I was odd
I cannot see the families of America
discussed strategy
our sexual history
I hold your hand
everyday lives
and say goodnight.
Yrik-Max Valentonis is a writer and cartoonist. His comics and writings have appeared in magazines, e-zines, radio broadcasts, art exhibitions, including Brave New Word, Chaleur Magazine, Cliterature, Experimental-Experimental-Literature, Maintenant: A Journal of Contemporary Dada Writing and Art. His work has also appeared in the anthologies: Animal Blessings: Prayers and Poems Celebrating our Pets (HarperOne, 2010), edited by June Cotner; Sinbad and the Winds of Destiny: The First Six Voyages and More (Kent Hill Publishing, 2016), edited by Kevin Candela; and Zombie Nation: St. Pete. (Zombie Nation Publishing, 2010), edited by Aaron Alper and Jason Cook. Valentonis holds a BA in English and American Literature from the University of South Florida, and a MFA in Poetry & Prose from Naropa University.
SUBMIT to Na(HIV)PoWriMo via our SUBMITTABLE site.
Join our mailing list to receive news, updates, and special offers from Indolent Books, the publisher of HIV Here & Now.
Here is today’s prompt
(optional as always)
Today’s poem combines a personal narrative with an direct address to a dear friend who died of AIDS. Write a poem in which you relate your perspective on HIV/AIDS to your personal history.