Lydia Cortes
Jetztzeit Again
Clouds were zigzagged as if slashed
punctured with z’s the z’s of a sword
the sword that’s mightier than mightier
sword we carry in our brain our being
in our fiber of meaning to puncture the lie
like wasps hovering near our eyes threatening
to puncture our brains our eyes and let out
all our truth that hides there in our being our
brain truth waving like a true flag of colors of
shame we’re shamed into truth the truth that’s
there always just behind or beyond our eyes there
but we don’t we can’t see most times for the fear
in our hearts covers and shields us from the truth
that we fear truly it’s so loud thunderous it makes us
deaf that’s the truth truth we cannot hide or bury inside
though that’s what we’re doing most of our lives for fear
we might get hurt might die if we uncover the truth real
blood and bile truth that comes spilling out of our brains
from behind almost right beyond our power of seeing of
feeling right under our skin’s surface it’s right there makes up
our fiber and muscle and bone it’s there coursing in our
our veins blood truth like the lies we need to get out get rid
of the waste poisoning our lives our guts spill it out we have to
even if we bleed a bit or more we can’t forever live our life’s
lies we can’t live forever afraid can’t be forever so why
not let it all out—first comes the shit—then comes the
breath returning letting us breathe the truth life everlasting
we can’t last forever but we can try to live with truth
revealed like a hallelujah busting out when we let loose
and yell like the pentacostals with tambourines singing
screaming joy engaged they’re completely engaged in
the song in the sound of their body telling body’s truth
truer than mere words than just sounds bursts of music
released truth dangerous truth dangerous beauty let loose
may be fatal it’s bone hard bone chilling our truth the truth we
fear is now here—hear hear—and alive in us even if only for a
second for the first time—hallelujah chaos—hallelujah catharsis
Lydia Cortes is the author of two collections of poems, Lust for Lust and Whose Place. Her work has been published in various anthologies, online zines and literary journals, most recently in Upstreet. She is currently working on a memoir in verse form.
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