Michael Cunningham
The Great Communicator Communicates
(Camera pans into scene of the Oval Office. Ronald Reagan, in very orange make up, speaks.)
“Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement”
“What would this country be without the great land of ours”
My fellow Americans, “we are trying to get unemployment to go up,
and I think we’re going to succeed.”
“Poverty is a career for lots of well-paid people.” Especially in Washington.
“It’s difficult to believe that people are still starving in the country
because food isn’t available.”
My fellow Americans, “Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.”
We should use nuclear power. “All the waste in a year from a nuclear
power plant can be stored under a desk.”
Although, no one in Washington will sit anywhere near it.
“Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession.
I have to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.”
But “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency…even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.”
“My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation
outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin bombing in five minutes.”
“Let us pledge to each other, so help us God, that we will make America great again.”
Thank you and good night.
(Lights fade out on Ronald Reagan.)
“How could an actor become President?” Oh, we’re still rolling?
(Blackout)
Editor’s Note: The poet avers that all statements in quotation marks are actual documented statements of Ronald Reagan.
—Submitted on 10/17/2020 to the erstwhile What Rough Beast series
Michael Cunningham is a school librarian and outdoor nature educator trained in Waldorf education and biodynamic farming. He lives in New York City.
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