Zoë Fay-Stindt
Quarantine Inventory of Things You Cannot Do
If exercising, do not go farther than 1 km from your domicile,
do not forget to bring your papers with you. Do not walk
the roman road, do not pet the terrier you pass, do not plunge
into that polluted river. You may pick the rose hips to boil
for tea, strengthen against the deadly thing. You may
empty the house of its liquors, though we strongly advise
against it. You may not touch your mother, may not
bring her small body into your arms when she trembles.
You may not go to your father’s for the last time, may not
plan the funeral, and anyway there won’t be time
or room or money or space to mourn, together, for months.
Do not panic. Do not panic. Do not panic. Do not succumb
to existential dread, or mourn the life you had, so plain and bare
before you, easy walk, easy beer, easy touch of a stranger’s forearm.
Forget forearms. Forget the longing between your legs.
Forget that soft animal of your body, now limp
or overgrown with fur or resentful, and really, if we’re honest,
all three. Cancel the flight. Prod that thing inside you
that scares you so horribly, that sucking privilege. Note how long
it took you in the text to burrow your way into it, note the places
you turn away or step out to use the bathroom or take a break
yes a break, because you are so tired, poor thing in the warm house
with your paid bills. Do not turn to puddle of desperation.
Do not let the despair sink into you like a needle pulling and pulling
life-force out. Do remember your priorities: long-quenched
thirst for solitude, holy commitment to your good
neighbors, these unchosen partners, their anxiousness floating
through your open door like a cloud. Make a list. Pile up the things
you are grateful for, then bless the pile. This is your warrior time,
soft one. Toughen those scales, and go headlong into the current.
—Submitted on 05/14/2020
Zoë Fay-Stindt is a bicontinental poet with roots in both the French and American south. Her poems have appeared in fields, The Indianapolis Review, Winter Tangerine, Rust and Moth, The Floating Zo, and others journals.
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