What Rough Beast | Covid-19 Edition | 05 20 20 | Aurora Anderson

Aurora Anderson
Reaching

I reached my boiling point,

I reached the point of unnecessary reactions,

I reached thinking with emotion and no rational thought.

I reached the point of peak anger levels,

and it felt so horribly wrong.

This isn’t who I am,

I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror,

and so, I sat.

I sat with my anger, until I realized it’s mask.

I reached over to disassemble the appearance,

and then,

I drank with my disappointment

I smoked with my frustrations

I yelled at my failures

I cried into my embarrassment

I lashed out with my shame

I sobbed with my stress until it poured down the drain

I broke down with my trauma

I sang with my regrets

I struggled to breathe as my anger dismantled

and crushed me with the sheer size of the iceberg I had front of me

and then,

I shook hands with what was left of my “anger” and realized I was completely overwhelmed.

I picked myself up.

I held onto those dear to me.

I asked for help.

I reached out to my therapist.

I committed to getting better.

I let go of the emotions I let build up.

I said thank you, and goodbye, to the remains of the iceberg that had melted in my bathtub.

—Submitted on 

Aurora Anderson is a mixed Métis woman. Living on Treaty 7 land in Calgary, her indigenous roots are from Québec. She holds a BA from the University of Calgary with a major in English literature and a minor in psychology.

SUBMIT to What Rough Beast via our SUBMITTABLE site.

If you enjoyed today’s poem and you value What Rough Beast, consider making a donation to Indolent Books, a nonprofit poetry press.